Little Things

Let me tell you a secret about me.

I am an avid daydreamer.

I'm not sure if that would come as a shock to anyone, or if by my personality it somehow makes itself known. Either way, it's about time the title of my blog is defended, and with 17 posts down, it's time long overdue. So excuse me while I... well, talk about me.

In general, most people daydream in some form or another. Visualisation, positive envisionment, even wishing. I doubt, however, that many people dream with the same intensity and fantasy that I do. When I say "daydreamer"... I mean it.

Ever since I was little, I was big into playing pretend. My best friend and I played constantly, many variations of the "game." Pirates, princesses, servants, superheroes, indians--anything. I don't know if she's turned into the same thing as I have, but I for one have never grown out of playing pretend. I still play with myself... sometimes. More often, though, I fantasize situations, events, and conversations that could happen to me in real life. Out loud, and in person. And you thought I was just talking to myself...

I daydream all the time. I mean... all the time. I can't remember when I started, either, it's just something I've always done. Although I'm noticing that I'm doing it more frequently as I get older and more mature--which seems reverse, if you think about it. But actually, I have a theory. Being insightful and having a clear perspective is one quality I really pride myself on, and I credit that to my daydreaming. Similarly, daydreaming about areas I want to be successful in has in multiple instances boosted my performance, proving the truth behind the statement: "Envision yourself where you want to be, and you'll get there."

In fact. Some therapist named Dan Jones did research on how people achieved success in diverse fields. He looked for patterns in how they thought things out: Beethoven, Albert Einstein, Walt Disney, etc.--all of them shared one thing in common. They were daydreamers about their field of success. I fall into this category, too. My successes in music, in academics, in anything are due to my visualizing preferred outcomes more than to my "hard work" and "practice" (which we both know I don't do anyway). Sometimes I wonder if it's a gift: daydreaming, but it could just be my personality.

More than anything else, more than success or entertainment, daydreaming has shaped the way I think and also the way I look at life. To its credit, I have become a good decision-maker, and I have great rhetorical abilities. I am also a good thinker with a deep understanding--which is why I can claim words like children, and write essentially whatever I please. As for my perspective, I notice little things. I have discovered how to understand not only my own thinking, but why others do the things they do. Call me philosophical, if not a dreamer, because I make a hobby out of trying to understand people, situations, and events going on around me. It makes me feel unique, because really--how many people do you know that study the human race like a colony of ants?

In daydreaming, in seeing, in understanding--this is how I am unique. Original. I remind myself constantly because sometimes I get down on myself, wondering if I'm authentic at all. I'm the only person who can see through to that layer of my personality, that level of understanding, and I think I'm kidding myself. No one else sees it. No one else cares.

But I can't let myself think that. There's no way to know. No matter how broad my perspective may be, the only one I have is mine. It's not enough to make a huge impact on the world, but even small impressions count.

And that is why I started the Journals of a Dreamer.