A Reformation

Something has happened to me, inside. Something that changed my thinking, if not forever, than for a time, at least until it changes again.

I don't know what that something is, because on the outside, today is no different than perhaps two weeks ago. But at the same time, internally I am built anew.

I can't explain it, maybe it's just me, or maybe I'm the first to notice it. But for some reason I have ceased to find fondness in abstract ideas. For some reason, I have embraced definition.

I think that's what I need. Definition. The past few years I've been struck with the thought of thinking, of exploring all possible relations for the simplest of ideas. But now I'm not.

I've suddenly discovered the joy of labeling things as they are.

It is a reformation. I have rediscovered myself, I have commited.

Goethe was right. And now there is no hesitancy.

Only me.

Breaking News: Fablehaven De-bunked

Alright, so far 13 percent of my blog posts have been about books. I don't know if that percentage is too high or too low for any of my (two, potential) readers (I love you both) but frankly, I really don't care (...and there go the readers. Not what you wanted to hear, eh?). Because I have something to say. And I intend to shout it from the rooftops.

I repeat: this is Breaking News.

Fablehaven is no longer my favorite fantasy series.

...say what?

I think I need to repeat that.

Fablehaven, long-thought best-ever fantasy series in the history of fantasy, has been de-bunked. De-moted. De-favoritized. Gone. Failed. End of story.

. . .

Poor, poor Fablehaven. I pity Kendra and Seth, and whoever else was in there, because really there was no contest. Brandon Mull couldn't stand a chance!

I admit, the fanatics were fun while they lasted. The adventures were mildly entertaining as well. I guess I could relate to the characters... at the time. Somewhat. A little. So here's to Brandon Mull, and the Fablehaven Series: It was fun while it lasted. Now, farewell.

And, BOY do I have a SERIES FOR YOU!!!

Enough with the eulogies, here's what's going with fantasy NOW.

The Bartimaeus Trilogy

Brilliant, right? ...Oh, you didn't catch that? Hang on a sec.

The Bartimaeus Trilogy

Better? Yes, yes yes? Okay, well maybe some more wouldn't hurt.

The Bartimaeus Trilogy!!!!!!!

Is the most amazing, most brilliant, most fantastical, wonderful, stupendous, ________ (insert similar adjective of your choice here) trilogy EVER WRITTEN.

Ever.

Let's have a moment for Jonathan Stroud's brilliance...

. . .

Wow (breathed with an aire of awe and majesty).

Rock on Bartimaeus. Welcome to the ultimate Brittney Hall of Fame. You are now my favorite series, and probably will be... oh, forever. ;)

Any questions?

Boldness has Genius and Power

This poem was read to me yesterday, by my saxophone teacher, concerning my prospective audition for a prestigious jazz ensemble that I do not have the money for.

He told me his story of faith, and trusting in the Lord. His eyes were watery and he spoke with power I didn't expect.

He then told me his friend's story, of loss due to lack of faith.

I have yet to decide whether or not I will throw myself and my parents into financial turmoil, in faith that we will be provided for if this group is the right thing to be doing. I have yet to identify my own feelings, and the promptings I may or may not receive concerning this matter.

Until then, Goethe.

Until one is committed
There is hesitancy, the chance to draw back
Always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative (and Creation)
There is one elementary truth
The ignorance which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:

That the moment that one definitely commits ones self
Then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one
That would never otherwise have occurred.

A whole stream of events issues from the decision
Raising in one’s favor all manner
Of unforeseen incidents and meetings
And material substance
Which no one could have dreamt
Would have come your way.

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

GOETHE

North Dakota Skies

Sometimes I think God paints our skies. Because when I walk outside and see sunsets like this, I know it can be nothing but divine.



About a week ago, my best friend calls me up around 8:00. "Have you SEEN the sky?" she asks me. I rush outside to be greeted with the most beautiful, almost surreal, sunset I have ever seen. Everywhere I look, colors are vibrant, almost glowing. Colors so thick I can reach out and feel them on my fingertips. It was stunning. And I bet you, if you asked him, God would say he titled his masterpiece "Life" because that evening, the sky was a battle between good and evil. Light and dark. Glory and damnation.

Running parallel to Cascade Mountain, deep indigo hues hover ominously. They stretch across the landscape, and in a few days--bring on a lightning storm. In their own way, they are beautiful. But uneasiness greets my reception.

Met with the foe, both light and dark clash right above Timp, creating an intense scene of awe and beauty. It seems celestial, the golden hues, compared to the ominous black. The images are surreal, truly like painted canvas.



Beyond the storm, blue and gold meet pink skies. The images were breathtaking. I don't think I could describe it for you with words, but luckily pictures will do.

We're all out there: me, my sister, my mom and little brothers. Plus all the neighbors. We chat for a bit: Sister Spotts says it's tornado sky, and in North Dakota where she grew up, you'd be running for your basement. In Utah, I figured it wasn't a threat, which is good because if I saw this in North Dakota, the only place I'd be running is to my camera.

But what do you expect? I have to take in every bit of the world, because it won't be the same tomorrow. For now--

Enjoy.

Remember This?

We stayed up late one night deciding what everyone would be if we were a fairytale.

It was splendid fun.

By the way, I am a countess, but I am particularly proud of the munks in the window.

Little Things

Let me tell you a secret about me.

I am an avid daydreamer.

I'm not sure if that would come as a shock to anyone, or if by my personality it somehow makes itself known. Either way, it's about time the title of my blog is defended, and with 17 posts down, it's time long overdue. So excuse me while I... well, talk about me.

In general, most people daydream in some form or another. Visualisation, positive envisionment, even wishing. I doubt, however, that many people dream with the same intensity and fantasy that I do. When I say "daydreamer"... I mean it.

Ever since I was little, I was big into playing pretend. My best friend and I played constantly, many variations of the "game." Pirates, princesses, servants, superheroes, indians--anything. I don't know if she's turned into the same thing as I have, but I for one have never grown out of playing pretend. I still play with myself... sometimes. More often, though, I fantasize situations, events, and conversations that could happen to me in real life. Out loud, and in person. And you thought I was just talking to myself...

I daydream all the time. I mean... all the time. I can't remember when I started, either, it's just something I've always done. Although I'm noticing that I'm doing it more frequently as I get older and more mature--which seems reverse, if you think about it. But actually, I have a theory. Being insightful and having a clear perspective is one quality I really pride myself on, and I credit that to my daydreaming. Similarly, daydreaming about areas I want to be successful in has in multiple instances boosted my performance, proving the truth behind the statement: "Envision yourself where you want to be, and you'll get there."

In fact. Some therapist named Dan Jones did research on how people achieved success in diverse fields. He looked for patterns in how they thought things out: Beethoven, Albert Einstein, Walt Disney, etc.--all of them shared one thing in common. They were daydreamers about their field of success. I fall into this category, too. My successes in music, in academics, in anything are due to my visualizing preferred outcomes more than to my "hard work" and "practice" (which we both know I don't do anyway). Sometimes I wonder if it's a gift: daydreaming, but it could just be my personality.

More than anything else, more than success or entertainment, daydreaming has shaped the way I think and also the way I look at life. To its credit, I have become a good decision-maker, and I have great rhetorical abilities. I am also a good thinker with a deep understanding--which is why I can claim words like children, and write essentially whatever I please. As for my perspective, I notice little things. I have discovered how to understand not only my own thinking, but why others do the things they do. Call me philosophical, if not a dreamer, because I make a hobby out of trying to understand people, situations, and events going on around me. It makes me feel unique, because really--how many people do you know that study the human race like a colony of ants?

In daydreaming, in seeing, in understanding--this is how I am unique. Original. I remind myself constantly because sometimes I get down on myself, wondering if I'm authentic at all. I'm the only person who can see through to that layer of my personality, that level of understanding, and I think I'm kidding myself. No one else sees it. No one else cares.

But I can't let myself think that. There's no way to know. No matter how broad my perspective may be, the only one I have is mine. It's not enough to make a huge impact on the world, but even small impressions count.

And that is why I started the Journals of a Dreamer.

Questions

(shhh! I grabbed this image from the web. don't tell!)

Who put together the scrabble game boards shown on the game box?

Okay. So the sky is blue. But why isn’t it red?

If I left earth for deep space and came back a million years later, would earth still speak the same languages?

Why is it custom for girls to have long hair and boys to have short hair, and not the other way around?

Is there such thing as “luck”?

How did the colors (red, blue, green) get their names?

Is everyone’s color perception the same (Is my red the same red as yours)?

On other worlds like earth, how does the technology compare?

Are there different types of technology for the same purpose?

Why do we call our solar system the “Milky Way”, and who had the priviledge of naming it?

Why are silver and gold so precious? What would the world be like if aluminum was a precious metal?

Will we ever have flying cars?

Why did the Mayans stop their calendar in 2012? Did they think they would survive until at least that long, and they planned to do more later?

Why are there twelve musical notes? Why not thirteen, or twenty-four?

In heaven, will there be more notes?! Like there will be more colors?!!

What will fashions be like in ten years? Will I scoff at what I wore, because I think my clothes are cute.

Why do some people see an old lady with a big nose and other people see a young girl with a scarf?

Wait. I just thought of something. My red IS the same as your red because my middle C is the same as your middle C, and therefore our brains must process color the same way it processes musical tones. Scratch that previous question.

How much effect does genetics have on the development of personality? Of talents and abilities?

Who invented the rubber band?

What determines likes and dislikes? Because my tomato tastes the same as your tomato, but I hate mine.

Do different people’s brains require more or less serotonin than others? Or is their plucky chattiness purely personality-based?

What causes some people to have more than 4 wisdom teeth?

Why is oxygen toxic? If it’s so toxic, why do we need it? What happens if we are overexposed to oxygen? ...wait, nevermind I just Googled that. Pretty cool.

Why was the Titanic made with steel high in sulfur? Who was the idiot to make that decision?

What’s so special about 768 miles per hour as the speed of sound at sea level? Why isn’t the speed of sound 769 mph at sea level?

Why isn’t it possible to comprehend celestial topics like the no-beginning-no-end thing in a mortal mind?

Is Physics legit? Or does Heaven use another system (priesthood)?

If I weren’t adopted, what would my life be like?

Who came up with the standard measurement of time?

What is the grammar in character-based languages (like Japanese) like?

Whose idea was it to standardize the English language?

Why were computers invented, if at first they took more time to build than they saved by their calculations?

How are calculators calibrated to work properly?

How long is this post going to be?

How many questions do I have?

How many readers did I bore?

Will I ever find out the answers?

Who invented the question?

Who taught me how to ask questions?

Why are questions the first languistic elements one learns to use?

When am I ever going to stop?