I Hope You See That, Too

Everyone always tells me not to care about what anyone else thinks. "The most important person to impress is yourself."   'Integrity is being the same person in your house as you are on the street.'

But I have a problem with all of these arguments, because the way I see it, you can't just live your life with your hands in the air, going, "I am ME and if you've got a problem with that, I don't CARE!" You can't justify yourself like that. Yes, it's good to love who you are. Yes, it's good to have self-esteem that won't break under the weight of words. But throwing all your cares out the window, accepting yourself by rejecting everyone else... it's not healthy. It's not right. While we should reject the WORLD, we should never reject the spirit.

That said, I'll admit right now that I care about what other people think of me. I care a lot. But the people whose opinions matter most to me are only those people I look up to. My parents, my family, my close friends, my leaders and teachers. I would never judge myself by anyone's standards but theirs, and most importantly, the Lord's.

 So I try to meet their expectations. I try to live up to the person I want to be, someone:

happy,

funny,

smart,
beautiful,

talented,

virtuous,

and kind.

I worry sometimes that I fall short. 

Like when I make a big deal about some little thing, and I'm not so happy. 

Or when I try to act funny and I end up being stupid at least half the time. 

To be smart is a relative term, and I'll admit that once in a while, I'm on the flip side of the card. 

It seems like I'm on the flip side of a lot of different cards a lot of the time.

But I'm trying, and when I fall, I pick myself back up. I brush off the dirt, tie my shoes, and move forward. Though someone's expectations will always be in the back of my mind, I can believe that I am happy, funny, smart, beautiful, talented, virtuous, and kind. And to you, whose opinion matters so much to me, I hope you see that, too.

Because I really do care about what you think of me.