Compliment Conundrum

One of the strangest forms of human communication is The Compliment. Unlike The Reprimand, The Comfort, The Insult, The Joke, or The Silence Stuffer, the whole idea of The Compliment is to make the other person feel good inside. :)

Compliments make people happy. I like getting them, I like giving them. It's important for people to compliment other people, because with life always trying to tear us down, we all need something to build us up once in a while. But something interesting I've noticed about people is that everyone's definition of complimenting is different.

Some people compliment obnoxiously. To them, every conversation is a jump at a kind word. Not that there's anything WRONG with that, necessarily, but because these people give so many compliments, eventually they fail to mean much to the recipients of such constant praising.

And then there are people that you never hear a compliment come out of their mouths. Ever. And it's not that they don't think them, they just don't express them. Ever. It makes earning one a huge deal, even if the compliment received says little but means a lot.

From my observation, though, the majority of people are somewhere in between the two extremes. Both in what they say and in what they need to hear. Some people prefer constant compliments, while others prefer to hear them sparingly. The question is, how do you become an ideal complimenter so that both you and your peers will be comfortable with the level of complimenting going back and forth? Where's the middle ground?

I've been thinking about this, and I recently decided that it doesn't matter so much how often you give compliments, but the quality of the compliments you give. I believe that a general rule of thumb for complimenting others is that the best compliments are both specific and sincere. 

Let's take some examples.

Example #1: "You're awesome."

Oh, the epitome of yearbook-signing and silence-filling flippancy! Go die somewhere tragic. Basically, this type of compliment is neither specific or sincere. In fact, it's considered a go-to compliment, or even a conversation fall-back. Not that it doesn't have it's place... sometimes words like these are all you CAN say. And others definitely appreciate them. But if you allow insincere, unspecific words like these to do the warm-fuzzy-delivering-work for you, you're going to end up crying on a park bench when you're sixty, still single.

Example #2: "You are truly one of the most amazing people I've ever met."

This is a very sincere compliment, but it's not necessarily specific. To make it a good one, elaborate. Something along the lines of,  "You inspire me with the way you always smile and reach out to other people." Sometimes a single sincere statement is not enough for the other person to feel the magnitude of your sincerity.

Example #3: "I like your eyebrows."

I know, I know, I have TOTALLY said this on occasion, and will continue to do so as long as people with amazing eyebrows exist. But while this compliment is very specific, it's not always sincere. I mean, really, how much do people care about eyebrows? XD While sometimes you can't resist the urge to comment on that person's AMAZING left bicep, try finding some other, more mainstream qualities to compliment on as well. :)

Example #4: "Your hair looks very nice today!"

This is a prime example of a GREAT compliment. It's specific (about the hair) and sincere (proved more by the tone of voice). But the reason I used THIS as an example is because of how mundane it is. "I like your hair. . . " It sounds cliche, but it still means a lot. This goes to show that truly sincere and specific compliments like these are actually easier to come up with than you might think (so there's not much pressure,) and even easier to give out.

Again, it's not about how often you compliment others as long as you sure to give compliments where they're due. :) It's about how specific and sincere you are. So once you master those two aspects of The Compliment, you'll find that a simple word to someone can go a looong way. 

Anyway. I realize this subject is kind of random, but hey, now there's one less cranial conundrum to solve in the world! So go out and have a compliment party like there's no tomorrow! :D

Peace out, people. :)

My Night

Thursday, March 29th.
Utah Wind Symphony Concert featuring the Concerto Competition Winners

Best. Night. EVER!

I love insta :)

Seriously, it was such an amazing musical experience! I have been so looking forward to playing with them, and when the chance came, it was simply wonderful! The Utah Wind Symphony is so talented, tight, musical, and professional... I am SO lucky I had that chance to perform with them! Everything about it was so great.

First, the rehearsals leading up to the concert were neat. The first few were frustrating, because playing with 40 accompanists is very different from playing with one, but once we got the logistics worked out, everything started to run smoothly, and we all got a feel for the music. My piece is so fun to play with full accompaniment! It makes the big parts bigger and the cool parts cooler. Magic.

At rehearsal one night I met Mandy, the girl who I've been compared to basically my entire high school career. Mandy is a saxophonist who graduated from BYU a couple of years ago, and I'm basically following in her shadow--way to represent the lady saxophone players! ;D I also talked to a floutist who was on the judging panel for final auditions in Murray. She had some kind words to say to me as well. Overall I felt pretty welcome with the Utah Wind Symphony, and even though I was really nervous about speaking up, the overall feeling coming from the rehearsals and the group was very warm. :)

Thursday, my concert day, was pretty hectic with me and my mom running around getting ready, gathering everything I needed... My sister helped curl my hair, and then my neighbor did it in a gorgeous side-up-do and lent me some "WOW" earrings. Another neighbor provided some hair flowers to top it off. I wore this gorgeous blue dress, and walking out in it on stage..... ahh it felt good!

The performance was the best part! I had a fan club of over 30 sitting in the audience, and I played from my heart to them. I performed the piece memorized, and I played it better than I ever had in rehearsal. It was one of my best performances, and with the UWS behind me it was spectacular! Supposedly I'm going to get the professional recording of my piece, so we'll see if it's legal for me to post it here. :) If not, go look up Fantasia for Alto Saxophone by Claude T. Smith. GREAT piece.

A cool thing about being a soloist was hanging out backstage, where there was this guy named Alex who was my shephard for the night. He showed me where to go and when and provided me with anything I needed. I felt so cool hanging out in the {men's} dressing room {I don't know why they put me in there. Technically me, Whitney (flute soloist), and Max (euphonium soloist) all shared the room}. The room had a long counter with mirrors with bulb lights all around--I felt a little diva-like. And I took up half the counter with my stuff. :D It was great hahaha....

*taking up half the counter like a boss*

Right before the concert. Really excited to play!
(p.s. Max and Alex were in the room with me when I took this. They laughed at me--I'm kind of a dork sometimes. Nbd.)

The concert started off with a number with just Utah Wind Symphony, then Max followed. I performed my piece just before intermission, and right after, as I was just finishing putting my saxophone back in its case, my teacher Ray walked in. He was so proud of me. He gave me a hug and praised my performance. I thanked him for teaching me so well--he really is a wonderful teacher, and a great supporter of my music, and he's kind of like a musical father to me. I'm excited to continue studying under him at BYU! :D

My fan club attacked me when I came out during intermission and again after the concert was over. :) Haha it was so fun to see all my friends and family and neighbors there for me. I'm so glad they came (thank you everyone!)! Basically my whole night was amazing. It was something I had looked forward to for a long time, and it more than fulfilled my expectations! Definitely the biggest, most amazing, most memorable musical performance I've ever given in my entire life. Receiving the scholarship was also a highlight--I haven't decided what I'll do with it yet, but I'm thinking mouthpieces.

Anyway, that was my night. Enjoy the pictures! :)

Me with Scott Hagen, Music Director

Me, Mom, and Dad

The girlies

My AMAZING SUPPORTIVE friends! Love you all!

Flowers! Thanks Landon, Dallin, and UWS!

Concerto Promo

Let's just forget how awkward I am, okay?



Seriously. That's embarrassing.

This is why I'm going to be a musician, and not a youtube star.
But hey, at least they have a decent editor! :) {considering how many times I hid my face in my hands and went, "Oh, AWKWARD!!", I'm impressed.} just sayin.

The Lesson I'll Learn

Something good to live by.

That last one is the hardest for me, I think. 

Sometimes I think I'm a superhero. I think I change anything, that there is always something to be done, that any situation can be fixed with enough Prayer Power and Dream Drive. But one of the hardest lessons I'll have to learn in this life, is that sometimes, things really are out of my hands. I can't change how people think or decide how people feel. I can't affect what people do or decide how someone will react. All I can do is limited to the strength of my own two hands and feet, and so when something comes up that I desperately hope and wish to happen or change, but that is absolutely outside of my bubble of influence, I have to learn to let it go. To free myself of the guilt of not being able to do anything, to fix everything. To be okay with standing quietly by the side as that moment passes, as that something rises or falls. To feel peaceful about the way life progresses, no matter how hectic things may seem. To accept God's will instead of my own. To let it go.

Just a while ago I posted about how we really can influence fate; how we really can change anything by the power of faith. It is one of my fundamental beliefs about life, but I understand that there is a difference between the words "everything" and "anything." We can't change anything about everything. But we can always change something about everything. Whether it is directly the thing itself, or us. We may not always be able to change the way someone is treating us, or the feelings between friends. We may not always be able to mend broken relationships or heal bad attitudes. But we can change how WE feel, think, and act. We can change our minds. Our feelings. Our actions. There is always something to be done, and sometimes the only thing we can do is to let go. It isn't giving up, it is gaining a new hope in things out of our hands. 

One of these days I'll learn that lesson. It may take a week, or a month, or even a lifetime, but I will learn it. 

Until then, I'll just laugh when I can, apologize when I need to, and do my best to let go of the things I can't change.

:)

The Difference

A boy's psychology to love and friendship

A girl's psychology to love and friendship

A boy's psychology {does not equal} a girl's psychology

And you know it's true.

But, you know what?

It's okay. :)

Life is good. 

:)

{Besides, you marry your best friend in the end anyway, so what does it matter which scale you're using?} ;D

Story of My Life

And I think this goes for everyone. :P

My Stand on Politics. . .

. . . is a completely independent one.

Though I consider myself a Republican for many different reasons, I don't pretend to be well-informed, or even very involved, but I still have something to say.

First, I want to point out that the church doesn't support a particular platform or party. They support the gospel, and they support the truth. And so do I. I feel like both Republicans and Democrats have some of the truth, but, like the religions in the time of Joseph Smith, neither political affiliation is entirely correct. There are some issues the Republicans get right, and some issues the Democrats do. There are also issues they agree on, and many issues they both screw up. But I don't dare say one party is better than the other.

I will probably vote for a democrat, at least once in my life.

And I will probably agree with a democratic platform more than a republican platform at least once in my life.

Did I just hear you gasp?

See, politics aren't about being a Republican or a Democrat. They're not about being a liberal or a conservative. Politics are about making the best decisions for our country and for us as its citizens.

So as far as my stand on politics goes, that's the mantra I live by.

Let's do this right, America.

:)

It's Just That Season

Today I got home from school and changed into a pair of shorts. I threw my hair in a ponytail, turned on the radio in the kitchen, and danced around because it's just that time of season

Can you feel it?

I felt something different about today. I went outside and felt the wind blowing and sensed the smell of spring in the air. I felt the excitement of school being {almost!} over and of the summer adventures to come. I felt the need to fall in love, and to run around barefoot in the grass, and to have picnics in the park every single day. It's just that season.

Can you feel it?

Good Enough For Me

One of these days I'm going to have to come to terms with the fact that I will never be truly satisfied with how a blog of mine looks. I typically change some element of the design every time I get on. I've decided that is a reflection of how dynamic I am, how constantly changing and redefining of myself I tend to be. There are days where I log on to my blog and can't seem to be happy with any change I make, so I end up laying one down and saying, "it's good enough for today." It's just like the days where I look at myself in the mirror and can't seem to accept what I find, but I just plant a smile on my face and tell myself "I'm good enough for today."

And there are days where "good enough" is good enough for me. :)

The Secret to Why Things Happen

Whether it's positive envisionment, a stir of imagination, a placebo, a belief, or a daydream, there is a definite power in believing something is real.

The same way kisses can heal bruised knees and a sugar pill can cure disease, faith can accomplish anything.

This is one of my most fundamental beliefs about the gospel, about the universe. I believe that fate is real, and that humans can influence fate by the power of their faith. For some unknown reason, a hope in something not yet done can turn that thing into reality.

Take The Wright Brothers, for example. Until their time, no one had been able to sustain flight. The idea was believed impossible, taken from centuries and centuries of trying, of philosophers faintly hoping. Until Orville and Wilbur Wright came along, man had not known the sky. But these two brothers believed they could fly. They believed they could invent an airplane. They believed that though their first few attempts may fail, they would eventually achieve flight, and a union of man with the sky.

Take Columbus as another example. In 1492, the world was believed to be flat, and Columbus was ridiculed for believing that the world was round, even though all science observed otherwise. And yet he still believed that the world was round--enough to risk his life on a journey across the ocean to prove his belief. And because of his faith, we find ourselves here in America, in the promised land, where we might not have been otherwise, until someone at some point had had the faith, belief, and courage to discover it.

There are many more examples like these throughout history. General Washington and the American colonists believed they could win the Revolutionary War and form their own country. Martin Luther King Jr. believed that one day, African Americans would secure equal rights in this great country of America. Thomas Edison believed that if he tried enough times, he would find a filament to light an electric light bulb, and eventually, to light the world.

All these people had one thing in common: they each believed despite the improbable, even the impossible, and they used faith to accomplish what they did. Was that coincidence? Was that getting lucky with fate? No--that was planned, intended, and purposeful. History attests to countless times where faith has been the explanation for some great phenomenon. So wouldn't it make sense for faith to accomplish some small phenomenon?

In my life, there have been times where the simplest of things have happened simply because I had the faith to believe they would. A friend's text. A performance opportunity. An aced test. A green light. Someone's smile. The smallest things can be manipulated just as well as the largest ones, and even more often than sometimes we'd like to think.

Faith is real. It is not by coincidence that we each have the power to dream, to dare to imagine, to have firm belief and hope that something might happen. We are meant to exercise our faith as a tool to accomplish our daily tasks, from the smallest thing to our biggest life-long goals. 

So never brush away the hope that something good might happen. Never second-guess yourself, because even if it doesn't work out like you wanted it to, the universe still responded to your faith. Heavenly Father still answered your prayer. 

So keep dreaming. Keep believing. Keep having faith, because therein lies the secret to life, the universe, and everything.

Take it from the girl who knows that dreams come true. :)

Tracking the Dan-o-saur Part 2

Remember the Dan-o-saur?
(you should, it was only, like, three posts ago...)

Well, Cambry has pictures!!

go HERE to check them out, and while you're at it, visit her blog! It is the essence of utmost amazingness. Her life and stories and pictures are so much fun! So... go see it. :)

There ya go.

The Script For Every Occasion

Sometimes we ask ourselves why we put ourselves through the things that we do. We ask ourselves why we have to go through what others put us through.We ask, "Why?" "How?" "When?" and most of all, "What if?"

Life is just so crazy. Especially in high school, where the rules aren't written and the lines are hard to see. It's an entirely different world academically, emotionally, but most of all, socially. Relationships are everywhere, and yet they wreck friendships, hurt feelings, and complicate life. Sometimes I just wish that it would dissolve altogether, this craziness. After all, there seems to be no rhyme or reason as to why we put our hearts on the line time, after time, after time. We are loved. We are hurt. We stand. We fall. But through all the laughter and tears, the explanation still eludes us.

But it is there. And the answer is simple:

[  This is why we do it, this is worth the pain
This is why we fall down and get back up again
This is where the heart lies, this is from above
Love is this. This is love


Love is why we do it, love is worth the pain
Love is why we fall down and get back up again
Love is where the heart lies, love is from above
Love is this. This is love.  ]

This = Love
The Script

Tracking the Dan-o-saur

Who knew that a ferociously fluffy T-rex, also known as The Dan-o-saur, would be so hard to track!?

We looked in University Mall, Walgreens, Shopko, Kmart, Target, Walmart, and Toys R Us until we finally found it. . .

A fuzzy fluffy furry ferociously frightening Rexy T-Rex pillow pet

PERFECT

for birthday gifts to 17-year-old boys. :)

Overall, from all the trips (each with increasing desperation, seeing as we were originally looking for a silly monkey...) and the wrapping and the laughing, it all took around three and a half hours.

Three and a half hours.

That's how much we love you, Dan! 

So

I hope you love the dino,

and that you have a very happy birthday!

FOUND IT!!! RAWRRRR!!!

Sha-Bam

You know when you have to go to the dentist, and though you cross your fingers with all your might, you hear those dreaded words,

"It looks like you have a cavity, young lady."

And what feels like a rock gets dropped in your stomach and you automatically dread that day you've scheduled to fill it, and you've blacked the date out on your calender so hard and dark you can't even see what else is going on that day?

And when you actually go to get that cavity filled, the only thing you can think of is how much you're going to hate being numb afterwards, and how you just wish you didn't have to do it? When you know it probably doesn't hurt as bad as they say, but that you can't seem to squirm your way out of that chair?

Yeah, I know the feeling. . .

I didn't have that feeling today.

:-)

So... don't even talk to me about being a wimp!

I had my cavity filled today,

without novacaine! 

nbd.

But what you CAN talk to me about,

is strutting around, feeling all...

...SHA-BAM!

for the next twenty minutes.

It's an awesome feeling. :D

Courage to Cross

We all have those moments where we find ourselves on a staircase, or on the coast of an ocean, or on the edge of a bridge, wanting to move forward, wanting to succeed. Hesitancy clouds the way, our own doubts and insecurities trying to talk us out of taking those first few crucial steps.

But we do. We are brave. For the first few steps, at least.

It is one thing to start a journery, but another finish it. Those first few steps, though I hate to say it, are easier than the ones right in the middle of the staircase, the ocean, the bridge. Each step gets harder as we journery farther and farther away from security. Safety. Horizon. But soon enough, we find ourselves in a place along our path where we are close enough to the beginning to turn back, but just far enough that we must keep going, or else face failure. It is giving up to turn back now. Retrogressing. Losing faith.

And whatever we do in this life, we must never lose faith.

And I know it's scary, I know it's hard. But when those times come where you're holding on to something, that last bit of security, that anchor to your comfort zone--those are the times where you need most to let go. To cross the middle of the bridge. To climb the half-way stair. To row past the horizon. You will never complete your journey unless you find that courage.

So look deep. Deep inside yourself. Find whatever it is that's holding you back, and cut the line. Move forward. Be brave. Have courage.

And cross that ocean.

Dream Big

I've always been big on dreaming. 

And in a way, my dreams have come to define me, especially 

now that so many of them are coming true. . . .

I am going to BYU next fall.

I am going to be a music major.

I am playing with the Utah Wind Symphony.

I don't have to worry about tuition or music lessons

I am rooming with my best friend in the world

these

 dreams used to scare me.

And sometimes,

they still do.

But maybe that's a good thing.

If all your dreams seemed well within your reach,

there'd be nothing really to WISH for.

and there'd be no need for a dream in the first place.

<3

You are Beautiful

from http://averageordinaryeverydayteenagegirl.blogspot.com/

You are beautiful.

YOU.

For that simple reason that you are who you are. 

You're beautiful for your personality, for your smile, for your quirks, for your imperfections. You're beautiful for your talents and your hobbies. You're beautiful for your dreams and wishes and hopes and fears. You're beautiful when you cry, when you serve, when you love, when you simply be yourself.

Beauty comes in the most unconventional of places.

And when you discover it,

you'll find that it's in every part of you.

so never forget, that

YOU are BEAUTIFUL.