Marching Band Ate My Life

It's true.

Long rehearsals, no free time, being pushed from one activity to next to get it all done... Yep, that sounds like Marching Band.

But. After this weekend, it is forever finished! Done! Over! We're going on tour to St. George tomorrow, and the moment I step off the bus on the ride back home, I am FREE.

Eff. Arr. Ee. Ee.

FREE.

!!!!!!!!!!! AAAHHHHH YYAAAAYYY!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDD !!!!!!!

I'm seriously so excited to have my life back!!! :) Band Tour, I'm coming for you. Freedom, you're next!!! :D

Hunky Dory

Life is good. :)

All About Me--Photo

So, I'm taking a digital photo class this semester. Our first assignment was "All About Me." Since I like working with photoshop, I had a good time with it. I thought maybe y'all would like to see what I done did. ;)



The first is my favorite place to think, or one of them. :)



My butterfly tree.



The hammers on the piano. :) I had to hold open the... thingy on the piano to take a picture inside... Now that I think about it, what IS that "thingy" called? The lid? I don't know. :)



This one's kind of cool. It's the inside of my saxophone. ;)


The sky--tricolored.

Yellow daisies looking up

And finally, my adorable little brother Brevin! :) Seven years old as of a little over a month ago. (Is he really getting that big?!)

So... there you have it. :) Next project: the elements of art. Be excited. :)

Photo, MB, Life... etc.

I promise I like Photo. Really, I do! It's just that, with practically all class period to mess around on photoshop and no more pictures to play with, it's gets a little bit...

Anyway. I'm here. :) And, well, life is good! I can't really think of anything I'm particularly struggling with, or anything I'm so excited about I'm just BURSTING, and that isn't a problem with me. There's nothing wrong with vanilla. :)

We had a marching band competition on Saturday. Second Place! Woot! I don't really understand why we have to be there so incredibly early or why we get home so much later than we say we are, but whatever. Life is too short to complain about every little thing. I'm just happy about how we did! When we got back, a bunch of kids were singing,

"Hey, don't be a fool. Somebody said that we're number three, but we're number TWO!!!!"

haha and then Meredith would chime in, "but we could be number ONE!!!!"

She is so fantastically optimistic and encouraging. Yup. She's a drum major. :)

Speaking of marching band, it's eating my entire life! And the parts that it DOESN'T eat are consumed by my inherent laziness and slackership. Let's just say I'm a true AP student. (AP--Advanced Procrastination) haha. To do list... Let's see, I need to finish both my A-day AND B-day homework (MB comp tomorrow--no time!), finish my application for National Merit, and practice for my sax lesson tomorrow, if I don't end up rescheduling for it, which I think I might do.

I'm also desperate for pictures, which is why I'm blogging during class in the first place. Our next assignment is people. I'm excited for it. :)

Oh, and since my blog is so blah blah blah my life blah blah blah don't care, I really need to spice it up with some pictures. Trust me, I'm working on it. :) It just takes forever to upload them, and I'm about halfway through with the first Photo Assignment--about me. Just... be excited, ok? They're decent, and I PROMISE they're coming. So, enough of me. You're sick of my ranting.

Lucky for YOU, the five minute bell rang just a moment ago, so it's time to logout. :)

Goodbye!

Thawing

My fingers are still a little cold from marching band today. But they can move. They can type, they can play the piano, they can write and turn pages to read. There are many things cold fingers can do. And as they do them, something happens. They warm up. A little bit of life seeps back into those bones and muscles. They start to thaw.

And if my fingers can do that, then I can too.

Just a little imagery for the mind and soul. :)

Frostbitten

Welcome to the life of a teenage girl.

One day she's euphoric, another day she's depressed. Wait five minutes and she'll spit fire, or burst into song and dance, or simply take a vow of silence.

See, the silly things that go on in our heads make it that way. The silly things that mess with our hearts make it that way, too. I don't really understand it, but I live it. Kind of a scary thought.

So today at marching band, we were outside in 45 degree weather. I learned my lesson from yesterday, so I had bundled up a bit, but you can't play a clarinet with gloves on. Naturally my fingers were frostbitten by the end. I couldn't move them, couldn't feel them. They were just...

Numb.

And I feel like overall, I am too.

I woke up today and forgot how to feel. I forgot how to think. But it wasn't just today, it was this week. Time passes too quickly for me to keep up with, and with all the crazy, dramatic events that have happened to me recently, and then suddenly reaching a strange calm where I'm past the "cooling off" point and into the "freezing point," I feel numb all over. So hopelessly confused and ignorant, like there's nothing for me to think about or be excited for or dread or consider or contemplate or wish for or anything! I'm just... alive. And it's weird.

I don't really know how to explain it. It's like seeing in black and white after years of viewing color. It's like eating cream of wheat after a triple-layer chocolate cake. It's basically dealing with normal, boring, everyday life events after riding a roller coaster of new and exciting drama.

Drama... We hate it, but we love it, too. That's why we make it. Let's just hope it's worth it.

When it comes to working stuff out, there is nothing "wrong" anymore. What happened last week is years away in everyone's mind. And there's no going back to it, there's no longing or regret. Then why do I feel so empty? It doesn't make sense...

It must be frostbite.

But enough of that. I need to be happy. With a freezing heart, I have to do all I can to warm up, move around, anything to avoid the blizzard. I have to invigorate my sense of being, restore my sense of self, and snap back into it. Maybe somewhere, somehow, or with help from someone, I can defrost.

How it Goes

Life has been crazy. In a good way, I think. At least I hope. :) General Conference was this past weekend, and it was fantastic. I loved the talks, and I'm really excited about the new temple in Provo. I heard some great things--things that inspired me, things that uplifted me, things I need to work on, things I'm currently doing well on, things that make me think, all sorts of things. It was wonderful and I'm thankful for that opportunity. :)

Aside from that, school has been insane. Took an AP Chem test today, hope I do okay... :) haha. I don't know. :)

So... My week last week was really, really hard. I'll spare you the details, but basically there was a lot of drama, and it was hard to absorb. BUT, in an optimistic point of view, I'm not sad anymore. :) I LOVE MY LIFE!!! :D And I'm still shocked at how that all worked out, but let me just say this:

BEST FRIENDS ARE AMAZING AND WONDERFUL AND I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D

Seriously. Cambry has dealt with my cry moments ALL week and has been so patient, and then on Saturday (the worst day by far), she called me after conference and asked if I needed a pick-me-up. :) It was SO good, SO fun, and incredibly and amazingly therapeutic. Cambry and Scott took me to get ice cream, and then took me to a park to talk and cry and stuff. They both had words of advice, and though it wasn't a specific thing that was said, I felt a lot better. I just needed to acknowledge the pain to someone outside my family, and I'm so glad Cambry and Scott were there for me. As we were leaving the park, Cambry said, "Brittney, don't cry anymore," and I think I took that to heart, specially delivered from my brain. :) It was almost a cure-all.

After Scott had to go to priesthood session, I adopted myself into Cambry's family. I joined her and her mom for dinner, and then went with them to IKEA (new favorite store, seriously) to eat amazing chocolate cake. Seriously, Girls night + chocolate = therapy!! :)I had such a good time. :D

And honestly, I don't know how that worked out so well. I think Heavenly Father had a LOT to do with it, and I am so thankful to Him for helping me through this. I am also so thankful for Cambry, and my mom, and Scott, and Cambry's family, and everyone else who's been there to support me. It means a lot to be loved and supported, and I hope that I can learn from this and do the same for them. :) Life is good. Fantastic, actually. :D

And, well, that's all I've got to say!

Life is good. And it's so much better when you're looking UP. :)