Let's say you walk into the cafeteria in the Wilkinson Center at BYU. It seems to be sorta crowded, so you look around for a seat. Out of the maybe 30 tables in the room, not one of them is totally empty. Therefore, despite that there are probably a hundred open chairs... you take NONE of them.
It seems, dear friends, that humanity has regressed to following principles of physics previously thought relevant only to subatomic particles. Specifically, the Pauli Exclusion Principle, which states that no two electrons with the same spin may occupy the same atomic orbital.
So according to the Pauli Exclusion Principle, when finding a seat in a sorta-crowded cafeteria, you MAY NOT sit at ANY table which already has an occupant of your same "spin"--in this case being the antisocial attitude of not wanting to get to know ANYONE, make new friends, or be a respectable, decent human being. Isn't it wonderful!? Instead, you must turn away from the cafeteria, feeling forever alone (because you are) and walk outside to an unoccupied bench or stretch of grass to eat your grub in peace. :)
Granted, there are several benefits of following the Pauli Exclusion Principle in the macro world. For one, it defends our delusional antisocial tendencies to not make contact with any unknown human being and thus preserve our not-so-macho dignity. Because, you know, why on earth would we want to sit next to someone at a lunch table and make a new friend? It sounds completely ridiculous, right? And it's all thanks to our decision to follow the Pauli Exclusion Principle as if we were brainless subatomic particles. Easier than being FRIENDLY, right?!!
Three cheers to human stupidity and to the Pauli Exclusion Principle!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
I think I'm in love with my instrument.
Isn't that beautiful!? I love it. I listened to it like 5 times in a row and decided I MUST play this!
Also, you can tell you're really in love with a song when you want every one and their pet fish to listen to it. :) Thus, I will post it on my blog even though I have nothing else meaningful to say in addition. (but I WILL soon once I'm finished with my thoughts as of late; promise :))
Peace out!
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Priceless Resolutions
I've never been big on New Year's Resolutions. Not because I have some complex with the idea of striving for a goal for an entire year with the possibility and reality of failure staring me in the face, but because I just don't think about it. I've never really wanted to sit down and write some New Year's Resolutions, but today I feel differently.
In retrospect, 2012 was a great year for me. It held so many exciting firsts and thrilling moments. It held love and it held heartbreak, it held the excitement of graduating and moving out, my first semester at BYU. It held a variety of different learning experiences and so many priceless moments I can't even count.
I hope 2013 will be even bigger. I'll be continuing with another semester, playing in Synthesis and touring to Brazil, turning in my papers and going on a mission--it will be my first Christmas away from home but yet the experience of a lifetime. I will grow so much. And that growth will mean more than any accomplishment of 2012. The years just keep getting better.
And so, without further ado, Goals I have for 2013: ("resolutions," if you will. Guys this is big, and a first)
* Continually strive to become the woman my future husband wants to marry
* No wallowing in self-pity.
* "Wherever you are, be there."
* Give it my all.
* Give Him my all in service
And finally, my motto for 2013:
don't just have priceless moments, be priceless.
Let's do this.
In retrospect, 2012 was a great year for me. It held so many exciting firsts and thrilling moments. It held love and it held heartbreak, it held the excitement of graduating and moving out, my first semester at BYU. It held a variety of different learning experiences and so many priceless moments I can't even count.
I hope 2013 will be even bigger. I'll be continuing with another semester, playing in Synthesis and touring to Brazil, turning in my papers and going on a mission--it will be my first Christmas away from home but yet the experience of a lifetime. I will grow so much. And that growth will mean more than any accomplishment of 2012. The years just keep getting better.
And so, without further ado, Goals I have for 2013: ("resolutions," if you will. Guys this is big, and a first)
* Continually strive to become the woman my future husband wants to marry
* No wallowing in self-pity.
* "Wherever you are, be there."
* Give it my all.
* Give Him my all in service
And finally, my motto for 2013:
don't just have priceless moments, be priceless.
Let's do this.
* * *
I wish there was one word, just one word, that could perfectly describe everything going on. That could encompass every feeling of love or joy or heartbreak that ever occurred. That could sum everything up simply, yet completely, that I could whisper to myself late at night and calm my remaining fears. That I could shout at my whizzing mind that usually keeps busy concocting all sorts of dreams and counter-realities that are all-the-more-favorable to my own, one word to silence all of that. One word to explain all the guilt, all the pain, all the sorrow, all the regret, all the wishing, and all the hoping that somehow never dies. One word to put the rest to rest.
I only wish such a word existed. For if it did, I would never stop saying it. And the breath it would take could make all the ashes from our poor, burnt hearts fly far, far, away to where we could never again see them. We could never again remember. We would never hurt, never fear, never long, and never hope for anything more. We would simply be.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
I'm a Member of the MMAP. Want to Join?
Music Major Confession: Practicing is very likely number 2390 on my list of things I want to do at any given moment. During school, I force myself to get it done, and I really have enjoyed it. But the second school lets out, the pressure's gone and I'm outta there. As President of Music Majors Against Practicing, it makes me really respect music majors who actually ENJOY practicing, even during break.
Basically, what I decided today that I am really really really really bad at practicing during Christmas break. I think I've practiced twice, total, since school got out. And for just an hour at a time.
It's whatever. I think I'm just going to sit back and enjoy my break. Saxophone causes me a lot of stress--while I LOVE being a part of Synthesis and the sax studio, while I enjoy playing in general and I do want to get better at it and eventually earn a performance degree with it, it's something that I'm not naturally driven to do.
As a music major I often feel that I am obligated to love practicing and to sell my soul to my instrument. But look, I'm not going to do that. I may be the laziest music major at BYU, and that's pretty pathetic considering I have had so many incredible opportunities this year, as a freshman, that some people never have in all their years at BYU. (Maybe that's not true. But still, my freshman year has been quite incredible.)
Really, though, all pessimism aside, I think my qualms with practicing just go to show that when it comes to playing the saxophone and other wind instruments, I don't do it for myself. I don't enjoy playing for myself, but I enjoy playing it for other people. In a band, in an audience, even to someone standing in a practice room to hear what I'm working on. I don't think I would ever "just get better" at saxophone to have the personal satisfaction of having done so. But I would work at it to lend my ability to a section or an ensemble or to a given performance--those are the things I love about it.
And--I don't know. Maybe that's how I landed myself in Synthesis on my first attempt, or in Wind Symphony, or a concerto competition. I love to play, but I never feel like I love it enough. I understand that I will probably never have adequate dedication to my instrument to really go somewhere or be somebody. But I like it alright, and if it serves Heavenly Father or His children in some small way, then I am going to keep doing it.
After christmas break is over, of course. ;P :)
Basically, what I decided today that I am really really really really bad at practicing during Christmas break. I think I've practiced twice, total, since school got out. And for just an hour at a time.
It's whatever. I think I'm just going to sit back and enjoy my break. Saxophone causes me a lot of stress--while I LOVE being a part of Synthesis and the sax studio, while I enjoy playing in general and I do want to get better at it and eventually earn a performance degree with it, it's something that I'm not naturally driven to do.
As a music major I often feel that I am obligated to love practicing and to sell my soul to my instrument. But look, I'm not going to do that. I may be the laziest music major at BYU, and that's pretty pathetic considering I have had so many incredible opportunities this year, as a freshman, that some people never have in all their years at BYU. (Maybe that's not true. But still, my freshman year has been quite incredible.)
Really, though, all pessimism aside, I think my qualms with practicing just go to show that when it comes to playing the saxophone and other wind instruments, I don't do it for myself. I don't enjoy playing for myself, but I enjoy playing it for other people. In a band, in an audience, even to someone standing in a practice room to hear what I'm working on. I don't think I would ever "just get better" at saxophone to have the personal satisfaction of having done so. But I would work at it to lend my ability to a section or an ensemble or to a given performance--those are the things I love about it.
And--I don't know. Maybe that's how I landed myself in Synthesis on my first attempt, or in Wind Symphony, or a concerto competition. I love to play, but I never feel like I love it enough. I understand that I will probably never have adequate dedication to my instrument to really go somewhere or be somebody. But I like it alright, and if it serves Heavenly Father or His children in some small way, then I am going to keep doing it.
After christmas break is over, of course. ;P :)
Monday, December 24, 2012
Weirder Than Yours.
The following is a record of a super weird dream I had last night. No judging.
So it all started in my bedroom. I was technically in Wyview, but my room looked just like home in Orem. One night, a strange lady came in while I was sleeping, woke me, and informed me that I was her captive and that I had to turn my alarm clock forward every morning before I left for the day, and not disfigure the apartment in any way, or else she would "come for me."
So I did so. Except the next morning when I set my alarm clock forward an hour, I tried doing it in the dark and was pushing all sorts of buttons. It turned on some music, which eventually I stopped, but behind the bookcases just outside my room, something was repeating the music I had accidentally played. I ran upstairs, hoping the echo didn't penetrate walls, but it did. So I ran.
Me, Brianna, Bradley, and Brevin ran outside to a large field. No where to go, no clue what to do. This witch lady who had made me her "captive" had apparently made the planet Earth her captive as well, and she was draining all the colors from our world. As Bri, Brad, Brevs and I stood in the open field, gaping at the damage the witch was doing and becoming frightened that she was taking over the world, suddenly an old man appeared, and said,
"Hello, I'm the Doctor!" in a British accent.
The old man proceeded to use his sonic screwdriver to make a long trapeze bar appear just in front of us, and so one at a time we each grabbed the bar, flung ourselves under and up, did a couple backflips, and landed just beside The Doctor.
Then the scene changed. The Doctor, Brev, Brad, and I were on bikes, with Brianna walking beside, in the North complex of Wyview. We were headed to south Wyview where The Doctor lived, and headed there quick before the witch could get us. We rode to the Wyview gates and turned South. But Bradley got there too long before the rest of us and had turned the wrong way. We never saw him again.
Brianna, Brevin, I and The Doctor continued on our way to his apartment. We passed the multipurpose building, which was a "safe place," from the witch. I made note of where it was, and made note of the small tunnel covered in leaves standing just beside. We never actually made it to The Doctor's apartment.
Instead, I was determined to teach Brevin the path from my apartment to the safe place, in case he wanted to play there by himself. On his bike, I gave him directions to the other side of the tunnel, told him to stash his bike inside, then make a dash for the building. When he went, however, he peeked through the vines and saw a bunch of rowdy teenagers right there. He dashed out of the tunnel and hid behind a tree, but the teens (who were apparently working for the witch), saw him. He got on his bike and pedaled away, eventually outrunning them. This is where Brevin discovered that he had a special ability--while the witch could drain colors, Brevin could put them all back!
Before he could do so, however, the scene changed again. I was at North Wyview again, and my mom and I were set up at a small cardboard table in the middle of the sidewalk. We were doing crafts. We were using scarves and dummy heads as models to make hats. In the course of our crafting, we needed some safety pins. I remembered that I had a bunch of safety pins in the backseat of my car from when I took all the silly bows off my homemade ugly sweater. I ran to my car to collect them.
It took me several trips. On the last one, a bunch of teenagers (also rowdy, but not evil) had pulled up in their cars on both sides of me. Just to my left, however, was a sea-foam green car that was totalled, and teenagers were using another car to repeatedly ram into the backside of the totalled car. I did not want them to hit me by accident, so I pulled up my sassy pants and told the girl in charge that she needed to move her car out of the way so I could move MY car to the other side of the street, away from the gang party. She rolled her eyes but complied, saying it's only "hitting something that's not moving."
As if to prove her point, when I was backing out, she decided to stand right behind my car so I would hit her. I did so. Just to be a brat, and I stuck out my tongue at her as I finished backing out and drove over to the other side of the street. I pulled up right next to a cross-dressing football team having a pizza party.
I jumped out of my car, prepared to apologize and possibly get in a fist fight with the girl I hit, and that is exactly where my dream ended, and I woke up.
Bizarre.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So it all started in my bedroom. I was technically in Wyview, but my room looked just like home in Orem. One night, a strange lady came in while I was sleeping, woke me, and informed me that I was her captive and that I had to turn my alarm clock forward every morning before I left for the day, and not disfigure the apartment in any way, or else she would "come for me."
So I did so. Except the next morning when I set my alarm clock forward an hour, I tried doing it in the dark and was pushing all sorts of buttons. It turned on some music, which eventually I stopped, but behind the bookcases just outside my room, something was repeating the music I had accidentally played. I ran upstairs, hoping the echo didn't penetrate walls, but it did. So I ran.
Me, Brianna, Bradley, and Brevin ran outside to a large field. No where to go, no clue what to do. This witch lady who had made me her "captive" had apparently made the planet Earth her captive as well, and she was draining all the colors from our world. As Bri, Brad, Brevs and I stood in the open field, gaping at the damage the witch was doing and becoming frightened that she was taking over the world, suddenly an old man appeared, and said,
"Hello, I'm the Doctor!" in a British accent.
The old man proceeded to use his sonic screwdriver to make a long trapeze bar appear just in front of us, and so one at a time we each grabbed the bar, flung ourselves under and up, did a couple backflips, and landed just beside The Doctor.
Then the scene changed. The Doctor, Brev, Brad, and I were on bikes, with Brianna walking beside, in the North complex of Wyview. We were headed to south Wyview where The Doctor lived, and headed there quick before the witch could get us. We rode to the Wyview gates and turned South. But Bradley got there too long before the rest of us and had turned the wrong way. We never saw him again.
Brianna, Brevin, I and The Doctor continued on our way to his apartment. We passed the multipurpose building, which was a "safe place," from the witch. I made note of where it was, and made note of the small tunnel covered in leaves standing just beside. We never actually made it to The Doctor's apartment.
Instead, I was determined to teach Brevin the path from my apartment to the safe place, in case he wanted to play there by himself. On his bike, I gave him directions to the other side of the tunnel, told him to stash his bike inside, then make a dash for the building. When he went, however, he peeked through the vines and saw a bunch of rowdy teenagers right there. He dashed out of the tunnel and hid behind a tree, but the teens (who were apparently working for the witch), saw him. He got on his bike and pedaled away, eventually outrunning them. This is where Brevin discovered that he had a special ability--while the witch could drain colors, Brevin could put them all back!
Before he could do so, however, the scene changed again. I was at North Wyview again, and my mom and I were set up at a small cardboard table in the middle of the sidewalk. We were doing crafts. We were using scarves and dummy heads as models to make hats. In the course of our crafting, we needed some safety pins. I remembered that I had a bunch of safety pins in the backseat of my car from when I took all the silly bows off my homemade ugly sweater. I ran to my car to collect them.
It took me several trips. On the last one, a bunch of teenagers (also rowdy, but not evil) had pulled up in their cars on both sides of me. Just to my left, however, was a sea-foam green car that was totalled, and teenagers were using another car to repeatedly ram into the backside of the totalled car. I did not want them to hit me by accident, so I pulled up my sassy pants and told the girl in charge that she needed to move her car out of the way so I could move MY car to the other side of the street, away from the gang party. She rolled her eyes but complied, saying it's only "hitting something that's not moving."
As if to prove her point, when I was backing out, she decided to stand right behind my car so I would hit her. I did so. Just to be a brat, and I stuck out my tongue at her as I finished backing out and drove over to the other side of the street. I pulled up right next to a cross-dressing football team having a pizza party.
I jumped out of my car, prepared to apologize and possibly get in a fist fight with the girl I hit, and that is exactly where my dream ended, and I woke up.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bizarre.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Ask Me What I'm Doing
p.s. I'm not actually over thinking anything right now. I just like the picture. How's that for irony?
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