Don't Ask Me What This Was

I wrote it for my English class. I don't know... Can you tell I'm feeling pessimistic about this whole English-language-as-an-art thing lately?

Because I totally am. True Story.

"I am not a heap of adjectives. I am not a hunk of prose. I am not a poem, or a song, or a story, or a blog post, or an encyclopedia entry. What I am is a soul. A girl who refuses to be defined by the way I write or by the words I speak, but rather by the way I live. Music, people, and the gospel are the three most important things in my life, and with that, perhaps you could say that I write simply because I have no better reason to.

I was once one of those writers who would hand-pick words for hours just to show my English teacher that I was the one with the most beautiful bouquet. I didn’t care what I wrote or what my words said—As long as they sounded pretty, witty, or otherwise intelligent, I stamped my name at the top of the paper, sent it off to the basket, and waited for that cute little “A” to appear a few days later. It was all about the grade, and so for years I wrote in a way that would earn me the most points or allow the universe to smile down on me for what I considered to be my noble contribution to that vast and ever-increasing collection of thoughts and words.

It was all going perfectly well… That is, until I realized one important fact. Writing isn’t a self-existent art. To write for writing’s sake will always be a futile endeavor, because until something or someone comes along to give it meaning, words are dead. Language is really only a tool we use to describe the things that really matter: people, experiences, feelings, ideas. 

 These days, I prefer to write what matters. While for so long I have been accustomed to writing for the grade, I am now more fully committed to write only what matters to me. I write for myself, for my family, for my friends and my peers. I write to record the thoughts in my head and to comment on the little things nobody else notices. I write to keep myself sane, but to encourage insanity in other people. I also write to discover the real reason I write. While I’ll deny any claims that words can somehow describe the person I consider myself to be, I do admit that I describe words as a river that lives inside of me—flowing, shaping, and changing me until one of these days, I might actually understand a bit of what I’m talking about."

That's Me!!

........................I think.

Dear Boys. -_-

***Disclaimer: The following does not apply to The Amazings, namely, Landon, Adam, Xane, Garrett, Dallin J, and Nick :) You five typically restore my faith in humanity. Thank you!****

AS for the rest of you.......

Dear Boys,

Did you know that we girls slam your entire species for stupidity on a regular basis?
And wring the tears from our eyes with the crushed hope we placed in you to BE THERE, to listen?
Maybe you should change something about that.

I mean, how hard is it to type "hey," and push "send"?
Gosh.

Love,
Girls

****Post-Edit: Nate and Sheldon have now officially been added to the list of boys who also qualify as exceptions to the aforementioned  criticisms. Congrats, fellas. If that is a congratulation. :)****

Today

Living on my own is different than I thought it would be.
For one thing, it feels a lot like EFY. You know, trolling BYU campus with a hoard of freshman, terrorizing the bookstore, the creamery, and the volleyball pit, and partyin' it up Mo-town style.
For another, though I'm not living at home, I don't feel "on my own." Though I've been living here three days, already I've realized that I am not, nor ever will be, alone.

I have the best roommate and best friend in the world, a wonderful mom who will let me call her 20 minutes before church or late at night, incredible friends who unexpectedly and unabashedly stand by me even as I add another broken heart to the collection, and a loving Heavenly Father who patiently waits for me as I try to climb the mountain to where He's at.

Today is August 26th, and today I am not alone.
:)

Giggin' Gal

Randal Clark, Mark Robinette, Howard Summers, and myself at the USANA conference August 18th

So I got offered my first legitamate gig a couple weeks ago!
(*Gig: musician lingo for "you play, you get money").
It's kind of a big deal... So of course I was like, "heck yeah!"

So last Saturday I carpooled up to the Energy Solutions Arena with Mr. Summers and the Jordan-High-Guy, Randal. We showed up, rehearsed, got mics and sound packs (I felt like a superstar with those things clipped on to the back of my pants. And let me tell ya, I was rockin' that Hannah Montana style there for a second.), and then pranced around the stage while playing one short song. Can I just say, SCORE!

In addition to the thrill of feeling like a professional, it was a cool first experience because we basically got paid 300 bucks to............

• Test drive Mustangs and Scion FR-S's
• Walk around City Creek Center mall and visit Deseret Book (which was, believably, awkward with two grown men)
• Eat McDonalds fruit parfaits
• Play on stage with David Osmond at the USANA convention.

In short... It rocked.
And I am now, officially, a Giggin' Gal. :)

It's not a disaster zone here, what are you talking about?

So, supposedly I'm moving out in two days to go live on campus while I attend BYU.

Obviously I'm totally prepared.

I looked at my room today and I was like,

uhhhhhhhhhhh...........

Classic.

See that girl, right there, in the purple? That's me. :)
And see that boy, right there, in the yellow?

We kissed. When we were six. How classic is that?

Oh, those kindergarten days... we had such good times... "Teddy Bear" and Star Wars and salsa and trampolines... Things have really changed since then, haven't they?

For the Sake of Blogging

It doesn't feel like I've blogged--for real--in a long while.
I guess the reason for that is that I've run fresh out of ideas. I'm like a river run dry, and as we're coming up on the end of the summer, I think that analogy is pretty appropriate.

I just don't think anymore. My brain is going to get quite the shock once school hits--I don't mind though because I've been looking forward to college since I started kindergarten. But hey--there's something to talk about.

I'm not afraid of college. I'm not afraid of moving out and living on my own. I'm not nervous for my classes, I'm not hesitant about being in a new ward or meeting new people or being thrown into an entirely different environment than I've ever experienced before. I'm not afraid, but that's exactly what I'm afraid of.

See, I really don't know what college IS. I've never been there, never experienced it. No amount of advice or number of campus tours is going to prepare me for what's going to come. All I know is that it is going to be the best experience of my life, and I just want to make sure I get the most out of it that I possibly can. So.... bring on the wardies! Bring on the classes, the homework, the professors! Bring on the stress and the money trouble--see if I can't handle it! Bring it all on! (Well, except for the boys. I don't need no college cooties from college cuties! Or at least.... not yet. ;D hahaha)

In other news, I am officially the WORST at the following activities:
- practicing
- upselling
- diplomacy
- meaningful blogging

Also, I just had a man on the phone tell me he wanted to use Grapefruit oil to get rid of the cellulite on his butt. At first I was like, "uummmm...." but then he started laughing and telling me about how he liked to use Elevation as cologne so he could walk around smelling like flowers.

He was obviously a sarcastic fat man from Hawaii.

Finally, LOOK!

I'm officially professional at the following activities:

- Blokus

- Time-wasting

- Avatar-watching

- pointless blogging

It's a good life.

Good Times, Way Back When

Aren't we just adorable??

:)

Oh, I'm going to miss those times.

What I've Been Up To

It's finished! My composition that for months was only a work-in-progress is finally finished! And I couldn't be more excited!

So please, take a listen and tell me what you think! :D

(p.s. those weird noises in the background? that's Brevin. He was doing sound effects for me.)