It's Been Another Week, But it's Fine :)

I have a confession to make.
Sometimes, I think I am above trials. I think I shouldn't have to deal with stress from classes or from practicing or from having a busy schedule. The way I figure, people are starving in Africa or fighting a deadly disease or watching their families fall apart. Why should I complain about having a certain English assignment or whine about being required to practice 10 hours a week? I mean, I'm above that, aren't I?

This week I learned that the answer, unquestionably, and invariably, is no.

I was so grumpy this past week. (Just ask Cambry. She'll tell ya. :D)
I was buckling under the weight of having a part-time job, taking 14.5 credits, and desperately needing to practice my instrument. I was procrastinating my homework to where I had to call in "sick" for work, and for the life of me I could not come to terms with any spiritual sense of peace. I felt lost, but as I examined and reexamined my life, I could not come up with a valid reason for why I felt the way I did. The list of things I was having a hard time with seemed too flimsy for me to accept. Instead of coming to terms with the fact that I was stressing about school, I moped through my week trying to juggle my stress with my pride.

After breaking down Thursday night, I finally realized my mistake.

I have trials because I am human. Not because I create them from being weak, not because I'm not strong enough to handle the apocalypse in the form of human trial. I struggle because I, like everyone else, am not perfect. I do have a divine destiny, but in order to reach that potential, I need to go through certain experiences and struggle with certain things. So regardless of how "silly" or "small" I may classify my challenges to be in comparison to others, that does not diminish the extent to which I struggle with them.

Being stressed about school is NOT beneath me. Not wanting to practice is not a federal offense. Having a hard time with feelings of jealously or incompetence for not pushing myself is a completely valid reason to feel the things I did. I am no better than anyone else, and therefore, I have no right to think that what I am going through isn't challenging enough in comparison to what someone else may be going through, to be conducive to the person I esteem myself to be, and to one day become. 

I am doing fine just the way I am. :)

Since that realization, I have been doing and feeling so much better, and I wonder if sometimes we all go through phases like that. Phases where we see a trial approaching and just think, "There's no way that flimsy thing is going to be for me." And then it is. And then we look down on ourselves a little more for it, but it's fine. :) Eventually we come to terms with it. Some might even embrace it (saintly souls). I guess the thing to remember is just that no matter what comes at you, it's fine. You're not above it, and you can make it through.

Life is good. :)